Monday, September 22, 2008

Mom’s Coming and She’s a Crackpot .. er I mean Crackberry..

I love my mother. For a woman of 65, she is quite technologically savvy. She has done well for herself and has quite a lot of business acumen. I am quite proud of her, but it seems that I have helped to create a techno junkie.

Eighteen years ago, I moved her typewriter off her desk and replaced it with a MacIIsi computer. She protested, bitched, moaned, yelled and pulled out all the drama stops over this change. I stood my ground and within a week she said I could remove the typewriter out of her office altogether. Ahhh.. breakthrough I was quite proud of myself. I was also proud of her for taking a step into the 20th century and using the current technology.

Fast forward to Spring 2008, I talked to my mother the evening before and she was so sick that she couldn’t stand up. She has inner ear issues sometimes and ends up bedridden until it subsides. So the next morning when I got a five emails from her in five minutes, I assumed she was better and back to work. I called to comment on her quick recovery only to find that she was laying flat in bed and holding her Blackberry above her head so she could read and return emails!! Thankfully, when we took a trip together this summer she had just changed from a Blackberry to the iPhone and hadn’t gotten the new touch pad down well enough yet to really be sending emails .. she could just read them. I am not sure how many actual meals or conversations we have had over the past couple of years without her checking her Blackberry or phone but it isn't many. I realized that the addiction was pretty bad when at her house I observed her using 3 different computers and her iPhone to stay up with her email! Now, she is a busy lady. She does get a lot of emails and I am sure that people are happy that she responds promptly but still you have to call a spade a spade and she is addicted .. just like a crack head, no two ways about it, she is a Crackberry. Or now that the iPhone is the in thing, maybe they should be called iCrackers. Whatever they are called I do think they need a 12-step group. (The first step is admitting it.)

So mom is coming to visit and I think I need to help her with her problem. (Not that she wants help or even that she thinks she has a problem.) Nevertheless, I am going to take her to beautiful SE Utah. There are lots of lovely buttes, spires, mesa and red desert that is always changing it’s hues. SE Utah has a lot. It will not however have cell phone coverage, wifi card coverage, email access or a tv signal! They ought to build a retreat center out there for all the crackberries. So I am wondering what will happen to her? Will she sweat and twitch or her thumbs move involuntarily? Will her head spin around and she spew angry words my way. Will I be able to protect myself? Further will I be able to get her to a signal before she is past the point of no return.. These questions and more will be answered soon enough … if I emerge unscathed from this intervention!

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